Zeigeist Non grata (words)

[08:53, 11/25/2019] sarah misselbrook:

Sarah says:

Something appealing in not knowing
In always asking 
Of you, of myself
Never accepting 
That it is enough 
It’s insatiable 
There are moments of realisation that move me forward
But perhaps the self-doubt is where I learn more
About myself
About this place
About why
Or maybe it’s an acceptance of something 
I will never truly know
Liberating

[17:42, 11/25/2019] Maija:

maija says:

There is something appealing
In not knowing
Also not showing my colours.
The uncertainty is like a drug
Soothing my unwillingness to comply 
to decide
to choose one mark over another on the map of 
Possibilities.
Paralysis medusa
She’s another name for jellyfish, that medusa
In multiple languages:
Medusa.
I imagine there’s a jelly that
Attacks the nerves
the reflexes
the body
Like the snakes attack
with psychic persuasion
Any thought form trespassing up the stairs.
Choose your potion wisely.
I think the greatest freedom
must be the freedom to 
adjust
to try
to learn
to grow
To experience all the things
Not just one thing
– over and over – 
in a repetitive loop
Like a child who hasn’t seen it modelled: 
The self soothing acceptance
The self supporting acknowledgement
The space to just be 
Witnessed
Contemplating choices
without pressure sucking bias 
exerted from without.
Within; retreat, self doubt, 
Confusion.
An unconscious stare
on the face between.

[18:09, 11/25/2019] maija:

Maija says:
Am i now the prescriber? the Refiner, the decider
The describer?
Why did I reject that role
forsake that certainty
Running round and round my head like a rabbit in a pen?
To SHOUT without isolation
would be to be HEARD by ears to hear and then
My words aren’t mine anymore and sometimes i’m just not ready to release them
share them
translate them
their WEIGHT I bear.
It’s ok to doubt, Sarah says.
It shows a well rounded viewpoint
Drawing a circle that could be a square with four faces
a red 
a black 
a white and 
a yellow face 
if I wanted.
This is where my thoughts
take me
Treading down the sand with Repetitive pacing
a medatative dance
a process enacted
Face the directions and
feel what you feel
notice what you see
sound what you hear
speak what you think
move when you need to
and Be.

Maija says:

My body acts and reacts
silent spaces
morning faces
messy movements
fumbling for a new stride
she clambers into trees
and dances between earth
and sky
listening for the orchestra
of happenings
and I
Notice more these days
the opening
constricting
tensing
relaxing
waning
invigorating
deadening
re-member-ing.